Chronicles of YuGiOh Episode 1
by Jon Mahashintina
Summary: A not quite right version of the anime.


Yu-Gi-Oh Episode One Return My Grandfather

We open this story with Yugi's school, which is for some reason named 'The School of No Return'. Yugi and his various classmates, whom have no relevance to this story at all and are there for background noise, are all gathered around a card table. Yugi is dueling Joey in a match.

Yugi laid down a card. "I play Candle the Stick in attack mode !"  
Joey looked confused as always. "Who in the wha... OH ok then I play Seaweed Stench in.. that backwards way...."  
Joey puts his card on top of Yugi's.

Tristan turned to Taya, "I think Joey's really getting the hang of this!"

30 seconds later the duel is over.

"Well, I win !" Yugi said as he stood up from his seat and walked over to the toaster oven.  
"Really? I thought my Stench was going good..." Joey said, remaining in his seat wondering how he lost.

Kaiba appeared from behind a table.

"Yeah, you certainly stunk up this match !" Kaiba shouted.  
"What are you implying you long collered jerk !" Joey retorted.  
"You have no idea who I am and yet you call me a jerk? You really are a jerk..." Kaiba said, poking Joey with his finger.  
Yugi walked over carrying an oil on toast sandwhich. "Who are you calling a jerk you-"

This carries on for several minutes.

Kaiba was annoyed. "Well then, I will just have to leave !"  
Kaiba gets sucked into the carpet. Or rather he lifts up the carpet and starts moving around under it. A large bulge can be seen as he moves about and crawls into a wall.  
The others all pay attention to Yugi again.

Taya turned to Yugi. "Well Yugi, what crazy adventures are you going to get involved in next?"  
"Who knows?!", Yugi said. "I do anyway, let's go my Grandfathers card shop. It's a shop he made out of playing cards."  
"What's he sell?" Asked Joey.  
"Candles" Yugi replied.  
The gang walk off. All but Tristan who stands around for a few seconds before noticing they're leaving.

About an hour later they arrive at Yugi's grandfathers house of cards only to realise it's been burnt down. Yugi's grandfather sits at the corner sobbing uncontrolably.

"Boohooo, why does this always happen??" He cried.  
For no reason he cheers up and forgets all about the smouldering pile of paper.  
"Oh Hello Yugi !!" He shouted, seeing Yugi and his friends running towards him.  
"Hi Gramps ! Oh the shop burnt down again? That's the third time this week !" Yugi said.  
"Yes, I should really stop lighting those candles." Grandfather replied, suddenly standing up from the curve.

Joey looked at him. "You're short."

Grandfather pulls an old brown paper bag out of his shorts. "But I did manage to save this before the roof collapsed on me, Yugi."  
He hands the bag to Yugi.

Yugi pulls several items out of the bag.  
"Let's see... Your underwear, a country music CD, a strange yellow pyramid that you stole from me yesterday and a Blue Eyes White Dragon Duel Monsters card."

"Many years ago I stole that card from a friend of mine. Now I'm giving it to you so that one day you can have it stolen off you aswell." Grandfather replied happily.

Kaiba appears in a horse drawn carriage. He gets out and runs up to the talking group.

"Ahhhhh, the Blue Eyes White Dragon !!" Kaiba shouted.  
Grandfather stumbled, losing his balance. "Hello magical pixie..."  
Kaiba ignored him. "I will give you all these cards (Shows briefcase full of cards), a country music CD and my horse and carriage for that card !!"  
"Why do you want it ?" Yugi asked.  
Kaiba grinned. "It has just the corners I need to scratch my back !"

Grandfather regained his balance. "Hmmm, no. That card must be stolen, that is the pleasure it must provide." "But I DONT wanna steal it !!!" Kaiba whined.  
"Wait, yes I do."  
Kaiba snatches BEWD from Yugi's hand

Kaiba stands holding the card in his hand, the background goes dark around him as he shouts, "HAHA, now only several thousand other duelists will stand in my way!!"

Joey vomits for some reason.

Kaiba rips the card in half.

Yugi is puzzled. "Huh? I thought you wanted it to-"  
"Yes," Kaiba shouted, "because now I have the only Blue Eyes White Dragon cards. No one shall stand in my way now that I have the only three !!"  
"You have the only three??" Joey asked, shocked.  
"Yes, correct, and now no one shall stand in my way !" Kaiba turns around to get back into his horse drawn carriage.

Yugi stepped forward. "Halt! I challenge you to a duel !"  
Yugi slaps Kaiba with a white glove that previously didn't exsist.

"Very well." Kaiba replied.

A huge dueling arena appears in the middle of the road.

"But only if you agree to use my dueling system, MUAH HAHAHAAA !"

"Ok." Yugi said happily.

Yugi and Kaiba get onto the arena. Tristan, Joey, Taya and Grandfather start doing a rain dance. Rain and lightning dramatically appear while the two prepare to fight.

Kaiba's turn first.  
"I start by pulling out all three Blue Eyes White Dragons to create the Ultimate BLue Eyes White Dragon!!"

Yugi throws his card on the ground in anger, "Hey that's cheating !"  
"True" Kaiba said calmly, "but who's going to stop me? Your Grandfather?"

We see Yugi's Grandfather who appears to be trying to eat his own foot.  
Kaiba laguhed. "Ha HAHAHAHAA" (Flash of lightning.)

Yugi places the mysterious yellow pyramid necklace around his neck. Lots of crazy stuff happens.

"DIGIMON!! I mean, YU GI OH !!!!" He shouted as his hair grew longer and his voice changed in depth.

Kaiba wasn't fased. "HA, Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon, attack!"  
The dragon attacks and a counter counts down from an unknown number to 00001.

Yugi gritted his teeth. "Oh no, I'm losing. I must Believe in the heart of Evil Kanevil."

Mokuba shows up and starts to cheer for Kaiba. Joey kicks him away.

Yugi does a magic trick and pulls some flowers out of hat. He then draws 5 cards.  
He smiled. "Ha, all 5 pieces of Exodia the ultimate unbeatable guy ! Thanks Kanevil!"  
Man on motorbike gives thumbs up.  
Evil Kanevil cried back passionatly "All you need is love little Yugi."  
He drives off into the sunset. Even though it was raining 5 seconds earlier...

Kaiba slammed his fist into the stand. "Oh no, I am beat !"  
"Kaiba, I havn't used Exodia yet..."  
"Oh.."  
"Exodia, OBLITERATE !"  
Kaiba slammed both fists down. "Oh no, I am beat !"

The counter on Kaiba's side goes to zero. With a scream and holler Kaiba dissapears in cloud of smoke. The dueling arena also vanishes. Exodia gives Yugi thumbs up before dissapearing. Yugi's grandfather dissapears.

"Grandfather!!"

Yugi reverts back to his normal form.  
He walks towards his friends relieved. "And it was all a dream..."  
"No it wasn't." Tristan said.  
"Oh" Yugi became dissapointed again.

Joey turned to Taya. "And that's the story of how I skipped school for 5 hours !"  
Taya not caring about Joey turns to Yugi. "Yugi, where's your Grandfather ?"

Everyone laughs for no particular reason.

The End. 


End file.
